This is an open letter to all ANZ executives,
Dear Sirs,
The whole Opes Prime arrangement has given me an idea for a new business which I am hoping ANZ will fund. Essentially I am going to start up a carpark in Collins St, Melbourne located near all the hot shot lawf irms. Of course there will be the standard Terms and Conditions allcustomers who will want to park their cars in my carpark will have to sign, but not to worry it's fairly standard. However buried on page 12of the 32 page document will be a clause requiring you to hand over beneficial ownership of your motor vehicle while you have your carparked in my car park and I will actually not add that clause into the document until most people have signed up :)
That is of course to protect me, and most importantly my financier (hopefully ANZ) from customers defaulting on their $15 a day parking fees...or so I will lead them to believe. And to get a better deal I will pool of the collateral in one nice and easy package for ANZ so I can get a better deal from the bank (yippee for me!). But this is the best bit, and is why my business will be a winner - customers will beable drop off their old BMW M Series and drive away with a brand newFerrari 599! (on loan of course) Great isn't it! At the start however Iwill only offer this deal to my mates, who to to perfectly honest, aren't the best drivers, but you know....what's the worst that can happen?If by some bizarre stroke of misfortune someone writes off one of my loan cars I will immediately have to go into liquidation and unfortunately start selling all of the cars in the parking lot even though most of the customers were simply parking their cars there and not using my special loan cars. However my financier will probably be the one doing the selling as I will have gone to ground by then and they will have appointed receivers. But I'm sure they will be able to achieve fair value for the cars or have mates who will give them a couple of grand to take them off their hands. Gee I bet the customers will be pissed....but at least we won't be at risk.
So what do you think, are we in business? Of course I will not be able to contribute any capital myself as you....ahhh....sort of cleaned me out but you must have a few lazy 100 million lying around.
Yours Sincerly
Opes Prime Victim
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2 comments:
We should all boycott ANZ from all the products they sell and inform others too.
We've lost everything
Anonymous
1 Apr 2008 4:44 PM
My wife and I sold our house last year and parked our funds in the
sharemarket while we considered the next upgrade to accommodate the
growing family. We only chose blue chip stock and diversified the portfolio. We also thought using a margin loan couldn't hurt but only borrowed at 20-30
per cent of our portfolio value to minimise the risk given the market volatility. Play it safe we thought.
Now everything is gone. $400,000 worth of life savings. I checked our bank account yesterday and our total net worth is now $4,920.46. That is a big
full stop after the zero. There is no investment property, there is no
cash investment account. There is nothing left. We are a family who could only ever consider public schooling to begin with.
It was only as I lay awake late last night that I noticed just how much darker the corners of the ceiling are. Sort of obvious really, but when you
really look hard, you notice it more than you ever did. I had spent the last two hours rocking my crying wife to sleep although she is now back up watching re-runs of Parkinson at 4am. I don't think she is really watching
it in the true sense. More staring at the flickering light of the TV
starring into space. I wonder if she notices how dark the corners are?
My wife has been supportive but I still can't help feeling responsible. We had only been with Trader Dealer (using Opes) for three months and I had
started an application to move across to Mac Prime as I was considering trading CFDs using our existing equity. I was literally days away from
doing this. Oh how life is all in the timing.
I turn 40 in a few weeks and have two kids under five. My net worth is $4,920.46. Well actually it's our net worth. Technically I am only worth $2,460.23. Probably less if the kids want a share. It's amazing how you look
at those cents in a different light after something like this happens to you.
I think the biggest difficulty will be looking my friends and family in the eye knowing that after 20 years in the work force, I only have $4,920.46 in
the bank. How that brings a lump to your throat. It's not so much the lost pride but the shame. The shame of feeling like you failed. The shame of not being able to have that dream house. The shame of no longer being in the
middle age comfort zone where suburbia has a real warmth about it. A warmth you never noticed before. A bit like the corners.
I kissed the cheeks of my two beautiful children last night and
wondered what the future holds for us. They look so picture perfect when they are asleep. I have no doubts about the challenges ahead. While I write this note in the dead of night, it's not so much an epitaph but the next chapter ahead. The sun will rise in a short few hours and the day will meander on regardless of what money we used to have. My children will wake up and
still love me just the same. They judge their riches on time spent with mum and dad. So as I look into their eyes, I will only see hope. The hope of a brighter future. What other choice do we have?
Anonymous,
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